Bad parking
When my plan for global domination finally reaches fruition, the first thing I am going to do is change the yellow lines in parking spaces, so that if you park straddling them and giant rotating saw blade will emerge from under the pavement and cut your blue Grand Am in half. Until then, I will have to settle for some well-placed Post-It notes telling you exactly what kind of an idiot you are.
She does it every morning. She backs her stupid-assed Pontiac in on such an angle that sometimes she manages to nullify the existence of three whole spaces! I've seen her do it. Then she gets out of the car, looks at her job poorly done, and waltzes into the building in a blur of Giant Tiger hairspray and Delta Burke fashion accessories.
I need coffee.
Comments
People who do this do it on purpose so no one will scratch their car. Simply put they should be forced to ride the bus for 12 months for each violation. If you lived in seattle you could give a homeless person $20 to scratch it after you were safely alibied away... not that I'd ever do something like that and I'm sure that's not how Canadian's deal with issues like this so how about requesting the building owner or building security have it towed? I'd prefer the saw blade option, but I can't figure out how to make it work... vaporizing lazer cannon... now that's the ticket...
Posted by: BlueNiner at October 28, 2004 01:45 AM
I prefer to leave a short, personal note explaining the offenders resemblance to the anal orifice. People are generally excited to get a well thought out hand-written note. It's a good thing.
If you are the formal Hallmark type: http://www.glarkware.com/securestore/c181844p16370773.2.html
Posted by: boothwah at October 28, 2004 03:48 PM
I just smear vaseline on their windshield, and any other crevices I may find on their car.
Posted by: ced at November 8, 2004 12:52 AM