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Chubby Cheeks

A recent study published by the International Journal of Obesity states that the number of overweight babies (0 to 6 months) has doubled between 1980 and 2006. To me, this highlights a serious problem: people have become so fat and lazy that it necessitates the publication of such a journal. And you know that by "international" they really mean "North American". One could possibly generalize to the Western Hemisphere, but who are we kidding? In other parts of the world, the ability to grow fat is still somewhat of a luxury.

I am not sure what to do about fat babies; in fact, I would be hesitant to promote any sort of intervention in wee ones, both for their own health and for the sanity of their parents. But I do have a solution for fat school-aged children: get them the hell outside.

It's the middle of summer holidays here in Pembroke, and every playground I pass as I walk Dexter stands empty. The aboveground pools in local back yards are devoid of splashing and laughter. I know that Pembroke has a reputation for being a bit of a retirement community, but this is ridiculous. There's not a child in sight, unless you are willing to look into livingroom windows (which I do not recommend, as it could be seriously misconstrued). Instead of running around with waterguns and climbing trees, you will find them curled up inside on the couch, playing video games and watching TV.

Society, your children are fat because you let them be fat. Hell, you encourage it. You buy them the latest gadgets to keep them glued to the TV. You refuse to let them play in the backyard unsupervised (heaven forbid they show any initiative and want to go to a playground), but are too busy yourself to go out and watch them. You chauffeur them even a short distance because it saves your time. You screw up their food instakes by insisting that they follow your bizarre flavour-of-the-month diets along with you. You lobby your schoolboards for higher test scores at the expense of gym classes and outdoor recess.

Of course, I can say all this with zero authority because I am not a parent.* How could I possibly know the struggle it takes to balance budgets and nutrition at the same time? There are probably a lot of things about parenting that I have yet to learn, but I do know one fundamental truth: the cost of setting aside 20 minutes every day to engage in some sort of rigourous physical activity with your child is relatively small compared with the costs of a lifetime supply of artificial insulin, a heart transplant, a liver transplant, dialysis, or a seeing-eye dog, all of which are the end results of complications resulting from obesity. Now get the hell outside and play with your kids.

*However, as a taxpayer contributing to the universal healthcare system your children are destined to overburden, I have the right to an opinion.