An open letter to the idiot who decided to put the hockey arena in Kanata
Dear Idiot,
You are a very lucky man. Why, you might ask yourself? Well, because I have managed to avert certain disaster so that you, dear sir, would not have to replace my engagement ring.
You see, it normally takes me about 45 minutes to drive from my office, in Gloucester, to the outskirts of Kanata, where your beloved hockey rink is. However, when there is a hockey game on, it takes much, much longer. And when there is a hockey game on in less-than-fair weather conditions, it takes longer still. So, imagine my dismay when I left work at 4:30 pm yesterday afternoon and realized that the only direct route west across the city had turned into a veritable parking lot.
Now, I know that you, sir, cannot control the weather. Nor can you control the fact that my bladder holds only 250 mL of fluid. But you did, at one time, have the power to not put the home ice of the second-most popular sports franchise in Ontario in the middle of nowhere, the only access to which was the west-bound 417. I mean, you must have known that more people from Orleans would be coming to the game than from Arnprior, no? And you must have known that without lobbying OC Transpo for rapid transit out to said arena, that each of those hockey fans would be arriving alone in their vehicle, thereby causing it to take me until 6:30 pm to reach the exit to Bayshore Shopping Centre.
It was at this point that I decided I needed a pee break.
Pulling off the highway, I decided my best course of action would be to use the restrooms in Zellers. It was there that near-disaster awaited me, for after washing and drying my hands, my engagement ring slipped from my finger and into the trash can along with the paper towel I had been using. Yes. My as of yet unappraised ring flew down into the depths of used paper towels, kleenex, and one disposable diaper...all of which could be seen desperately strewn on the floor of the Zellers restroom moments later as I searched frantically to rescue my ring.
You are indeed lucky that I am not a more squeamish person. You are also lucky that Zellers chooses to employ easily accesible garbage cans, as opposed to those mounted into recessed walls, which are almost impossible to overturn and empty. However, all of this could have been avoided, had you not been a complete horse's ass and decided to put Scotiabank Place somewhere reasonable.
Sincerely,
Saedigh
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