What's in a name?
People have started asking me if I plan on changing my name after the wedding. I'd never really given it much thought that some day my last name might not be my last name anymore. I don't have a particularly strong opinion on the subject. I have no strong aversion to Capt. Mike's last name, but I do happen to like my own. So, I've (pretty much) decided that I am (likely) going to remain a Sarah C. I am definitely not going the hyphenation route. It's an awful lot to saddle any potential offspring with, especially if they grow up to marry other hyphenates who want to further hyphenate and propogate.
I have no quarrel with the people who ask me if I am going to change my name, but I do sort of take offence when some of them then ask me to defend my choice. I've even heard it said, though not to me directly, that the bride taking the groom's surname is a sign of respect (erego not taking his name could be seen as a sign of disrespect). That, I object to. No name is more deserving of respect than any other. Furthermore, in Canada at least, it's a pretty anglosaxon idea of human nomenclature.
I won't correct people if they call me "Mrs." instead of "Ms.", and I won't get upset if we receive mail addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. X". But I can't promise I won't become a little bit testy if I see any raised eyebrows when I do introduce myself by my own name.
Comments
I don't see any problem with hyphenation...cause there shouldn't be a problem when my Kerkhoven-McCulloch child marries the Christensen-Paraskevoulous child. Who wouldn't want to be a
Christensen-Paraskevoulous-Kerkhoven-McCulloch?
Okay...you might have a point ;P
Posted by: Tracy at April 19, 2007 11:21 AM
:-)
One alternative I thought of if we decided to have kids would be to give them Mike's last name, and use my last name as a middle name (or vice versa). That way both legacies sort of get to live on, if, you know, you're into legacies and stuff.
Eventually we will all just be bar codes anyway. ;-)
Posted by: Saedigh at April 19, 2007 12:36 PM
That's the route that many of the women that I know took who ended up keeping their own last name or hyphenating... lots and lots of coworkers as well as friends... their offspring got their mother's last name/maiden name as their middle name, and the father's last name as their last name. And there's nothing saying that the kid can't have two middle names, like Bobbin's does. Of course, neither of them are my maiden name :-) but both names had meaning to us so we gave her two.
Of course, regardless of the names you give them, your legacy lives on, quite literally,anyway :-) And whose to say your kids are going to end up, after all that careful thought and consideration you put into giving them a middle or a last name, that they are going to acknowledge it or keep it when they grow up? :-)
Posted by: heather at April 20, 2007 02:39 AM
I didn't take Jake's name. I was kind of against it...not in a "taking a stand" sort of way, more like a I am me and it kinda made me sad to change sort of way. Now almost 4 years later I'm fed up. We continued to get mail addressed to us as Mr. and Mrs. and like you it was fine/cute. But the problem came when we got packages sent at Christmas and I couldn't pick them up because I have no ID with that name. Argh. I finally went and added Jake's name to mine. No hyphen. But I still go by my name professionally...hahahah, as in I'll be my name to the kids. I don't think I'd even look up if anyone called me his last name. It's a weird thing, hey?
Posted by: Stefanie at April 20, 2007 09:33 PM